Commentary; Posted: 5/26/04

In New York, smiling is out of style

Marissa Kristal
Guest Columnist

Minnesotans, listen up! I have news from the East Coast front: Smiling has gone out of style.

Just in case you didnít get the memo, I am here to pass the news along. Look in the magazines, not even supermodels are doing it anymore!

A born and raised Minnesotan, by nature I smile at anyone and everyone. No passengers Iíve ever shared an elevator with have gone un-smiled at, no sales person that has ever helped me has gone un-smirked at and no runner on the treadmill next to mine at the gym has ever gone un-grinned at.

Heck, Iíll even smile at the driver two lanes over from mine if I can catch his attention.

Therefore, you can imagine my utter surprise upon moving to New York City and learning the hard way that smiling at people for no reason is not only totally un-cool, but also highly offensive.

A word to the wise, should you choose to flash your pearly whites, take precaution and be prepared because here in NYC aiming those upturned corners of your mouth directly at a stranger is considered equally as menacing as threatening him with your fists.

Just this morning on my way to work I made the mistake of making eye contact and smiling at the commuter across from me on the subway. In return for my smile I received an angry ìtake a picture, Itíll last longer!î

Wouldnít it have been easier for her just to smile back?

Apparently she got the memo.

I live in a building with many young adults who, much like me, recently graduated college and are now beginning their lives and careers in the Big Apple. Feeling this common bond with so many tenants, I tend to forget the no-smiling-in-the-elevator rule.

As in anything, when you break the rules you must live with the consequences. In my case, they actually have a name for me now: ìThe-girl-who-smiles-at-people-in-the elevator.î

The horror! What can I say? In my defense, Iím from Minnesota where smiling is still ìinî and considered an act of friendliness.

It has gotten so bad, in fact, that my East Coast friends are starting to warn me. ìYou canít just go around smiling at everyone like that,î they say, ìyouíre really gonna insult somebody!î

Although I know itís hard to imagine anything worse, Iíd like to know what really offends people in this town.

I know that fashion usually starts on the coasts and infiltrates inward, but just this once, let it begin in the middle and work its way out.

If not for the grander purpose that kindness should always be in style, than for the reason that I really hate being out of fashion, especially living here in New York City.

I always thought that moving to New York would make me tougher, harder and more aloof, but now that I am here the only thing I realize is that Minnesotans, with our compassion and warmth, have always been on to something.

May the residents and fashionistas of NYC take heed ó follow Minnesota Vogue and bring back the smile!

Marissa Kristal is a former resident of Mendota Heights who spent weekends and summers at a Forest Lake home on Hayward Avenue. She considers Forest Lake her second home and says the communityís Fourth of July celebration is one of her favorite events. She now works in the development office at The Rockefeller University in New York City.

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